Author Topic: the OC corner  (Read 35617 times)

Arch-Magos Winter

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #75 on: December 02, 2013, 02:23:26 PM »

Well, he's not really meant to be anyone important, just some random guy she met and fell in love with. She might be more magus-like than her mother is, but she doesn't let it get in the way of her happiness to that extent.

Hmm, what fanfiction is this?

And, no, I don't mind as long as it's posted on DSM (preferably first, so it can attract people over here), you acknowledge who wrote them and where to find me and they're not treated really badly or horribly mischaracterised. I have no problem with my characters being used by someone else, but I have no desire whatsoever to see them used to help out BL, after the way they've treated (and continue to treat) me. I also expect that anyone who has questions about my characters should be directed here to get them answered...
I still say he needs to be fleshed out at least a little. The girl is married to him for gods sakes.

Something I'm planning on writing involving the Namless Enforcer, will probably never pan out, and trust me if I'm the one writing them no guarantee on the mischaracterization.  Suck at pulling that off effectively. Also, drop your BL hate bullshit, its been pretty much a year and considering the way you acted over there, the ban was justified. Maybe not the length, but the ban was. And remember, I'm writing the characters. I might need to for the sake of the story shift some details around or make up things on the fly. I'll try to keep them as original material free as possible.

Cherry Lover

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #76 on: December 02, 2013, 04:56:50 PM »
Look, you can think whatever you damn well like about my ban, I do not want my characters used to help in any way a forum which does not let me access it. It is as simple as that.

As far as I am concerned the way they (Altima in particular) treated me and continue to treat me (some of the crap talked about me is horrendous) and the fact that they do not let me respond to any of that crap means I do not want any involvement with them whatsoever, directly or indirectly. Further, I am running my own forum that needs posts and fics to have a chance of surviving, and every fic that is posted primarily on BL makes this forum less and less viable. Additionally, after the way I've been treated (and the fact that most people, even ones who were my friends, cannot be bothered to come over to this forum or put relatively little effort into it if they do) I am somewhat unhappy with the fandom in general, so I am not overly inclined to do stuff for them for the sake of it.

As for the husband, yeah, he does need fleshing-out ultimately, but it's less urgent than getting her right is.

And, I can understand the characterisation stuff, I don't mind you getting some stuff wrong, or even changing things round a bit to make them fit. I just don't want you completely fucking with them to fit some agenda (particularly one that I would dislike).

Also, stop giving ill-informed opinions on my ban. You do not have a clue what really happened, because Altima and friends carefully cover it up and hide behind their bullshit.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2013, 05:00:32 PM by Cherry Lover »

Arch-Magos Winter

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #77 on: December 02, 2013, 05:03:14 PM »
Look, you can think whatever you damn well like about my ban, I do not want my characters used to help in any way a forum which does not let me access it. It is as simple as that.

As far as I am concerned the way they (Altima in particular) treated me and continue to treat me (some of the crap talked about me is horrendous) and the fact that they do not let me respond to any of that crap means I do not want any involvement with them whatsoever, directly or indirectly. Further, I am running my own forum that needs posts and fics to have a chance of surviving, and every fic that is posted primarily on BL makes this forum less and less viable. Additionally, after the way I've been treated (and the fact that most people, even ones who were my friends, cannot be bothered to come over to this forum or put relatively little effort into it if they do) I am somewhat unhappy with the fandom in general, so I am not overly inclined to do stuff for them for the sake of it.

As for the husband, yeah, he does need fleshing-out ultimately, but it's less urgent than getting her right is.

And, I can understand the characterisation stuff, I don't mind you getting some stuff wrong, or even changing things round a bit to make them fit. I just don't want you completely fucking with them to fit some agenda (particularly one that I would dislike).

Also, stop giving ill-informed opinions on my ban. You do not have a clue what really happened, because Altima and friends carefully cover it up and hide behind their bullshit.
Ahahahahah, Mike, chill man. Cool your jets. Let's not get into this.

I get your not wanting a complete fucking of them (And trust me I won't be doing this) and if anyone, I'm grabbing Karyia, his Wife, and Shirou out of this. No need to worry that much man, I'll keep it somewhat simple.

Cherry Lover

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #78 on: December 02, 2013, 05:08:04 PM »
Well, the whole issue with BL is still rather raw for me, particularly since they have never made any attempt to talk about it reasonably or rationally with me. Altima in particular I am still really upset with, since he was my friend and then suddenly shat all over me after lying through his hind teeth to me over MSN the very night before (and consistently lying to and bullshitting me for most of the previous month, causing me to act in the way that got me banned in the first place).

As for the characters you're taking, that's OK, although it's odd that you'd pick the character with basically no magical ability. Is there a reason for that?

Also, taking Shirou away from Sakura causes him problems due to his body, so you need to take that into account.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2013, 05:09:05 PM by Cherry Lover »

Alice

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #79 on: December 02, 2013, 05:14:30 PM »
Yeah, pretty much the whole thing wasn't a fun time for Cherry, so naturally he's still not too happy about it. The way some of that was handled wasn't that great too. I'll leave it at that, though. The rest can be sorted out via PM. Let's just chill out in here and get all the way back on the rails.

Hmm, should I post stuff about Becky in here before her identity gets revealed, or after? Before I'd have to shove stuff in spoiler tags, but eh. Though it's probably not going to happen now, right now I'm actually running on zero sleep, and thus am probably not in the best state to type such elaborate things. Sleep deprivation drunkenness go, wheee!

Besides running the forum, I can provide avatars for people as well~
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Cherry Lover

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #80 on: December 02, 2013, 05:27:21 PM »
Yeah, pretty much the whole thing wasn't a fun time for Cherry, so naturally he's still not too happy about it. The way some of that was handled wasn't that great too. I'll leave it at that, though. The rest can be sorted out via PM. Let's just chill out in here and get all the way back on the rails.

Yeah, exactly, plus it's on-going, so it's hard to just forget about it. I can't just walk back onto BL, after all (I'm too obvious).

Quote
Hmm, should I post stuff about Becky in here before her identity gets revealed, or after? Before I'd have to shove stuff in spoiler tags, but eh.

Well, it depends if you mind people finding out who she is, and if you want any help with her.

Quote
Though it's probably not going to happen now, right now I'm actually running on zero sleep, and thus am probably not in the best state to type such elaborate things. Sleep deprivation drunkenness go, wheee!

Is this an attempt to fix your sleep patterns? :P

Arch-Magos Winter

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #81 on: December 02, 2013, 05:41:31 PM »
Well, the whole issue with BL is still rather raw for me, particularly since they have never made any attempt to talk about it reasonably or rationally with me. Altima in particular I am still really upset with, since he was my friend and then suddenly shat all over me after lying through his hind teeth to me over MSN the very night before (and consistently lying to and bullshitting me for most of the previous month, causing me to act in the way that got me banned in the first place).

As for the characters you're taking, that's OK, although it's odd that you'd pick the character with basically no magical ability. Is there a reason for that?

Also, taking Shirou away from Sakura causes him problems due to his body, so you need to take that into account.
I'm assuming he went to an overseas school? There's a reason, I'll PM you about it.

Alice

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #82 on: December 02, 2013, 05:44:12 PM »
Well, it depends if you mind people finding out who she is, and if you want any help with her.
Eh, probably her identity is about to be revealed soon enough in the RP anyway (so much for starting her out with a secret identity only to keep it for such a short time :P), but like I said before, if I have to, I can just toss the description into spoiler tags. :) It just depends on whether I should wait until it's safe to do so without the spoiler tags or not so it's easier for people to read or not.

Quote
Is this an attempt to fix your sleep patterns? :P
LOL, not intentionally, but maybe. :P ...I maybe should at least take a nap or something though, I'm pretty sure my brain's just a touch fried right now, and I am pretty tired at this point. ^_^"

Besides running the forum, I can provide avatars for people as well~
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Cherry Lover

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #83 on: December 02, 2013, 05:53:45 PM »
Well, the whole issue with BL is still rather raw for me, particularly since they have never made any attempt to talk about it reasonably or rationally with me. Altima in particular I am still really upset with, since he was my friend and then suddenly shat all over me after lying through his hind teeth to me over MSN the very night before (and consistently lying to and bullshitting me for most of the previous month, causing me to act in the way that got me banned in the first place).

As for the characters you're taking, that's OK, although it's odd that you'd pick the character with basically no magical ability. Is there a reason for that?

Also, taking Shirou away from Sakura causes him problems due to his body, so you need to take that into account.
I'm assuming he went to an overseas school? There's a reason, I'll PM you about it.

Hmm, I'll have to check out what I've written for his backstory. He certainly met Sam in Japan (she went overseas, not him), but I'm not sure if he would have gone overseas himself at any point.

Well, it depends if you mind people finding out who she is, and if you want any help with her.
Eh, probably her identity is about to be revealed soon enough in the RP anyway (so much for starting her out with a secret identity only to keep it for such a short time :P), but like I said before, if I have to, I can just toss the description into spoiler tags. :) It just depends on whether I should wait until it's safe to do so without the spoiler tags or not so it's easier for people to read or not.

Well, if you just put the whole thing in spoiler tags then it's easy enough to read....

Quote
Quote
Is this an attempt to fix your sleep patterns? :P
LOL, not intentionally, but maybe. :P ...I maybe should at least take a nap or something though, I'm pretty sure my brain's just a touch fried right now, and I am pretty tired at this point. ^_^"

Well, I'd kind-of like to be able to speak to you tonight :P

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #84 on: February 14, 2014, 07:22:49 PM »
Eeee! OC threads always make me smile.  :3

Anyways, I'm currently in the draft form of a relatively monstrous fic that follows this OC in a completely unintended romp through the multiverse. He starts out as a relatively normal person who accidentally pisses off a traveling alternate Zeltrech and gets cursed to travel through the Kaleidoscope to "go be a hero elsewhere brat". This ends up getting him summoned as an Archer Servant by Rin during the Fifth Holy Grail War with absolutely no bonuses or powers because of it.

Every time he fails in the HGW he gets sent back out into the Kaleidoscope and to a growing number of other worlds. While he's summoned to a new HGW each time, he ends up returning to the same other realities repeatedly, like a pendulum that has more mass added at the top of each swing. Each time, desperately getting stronger to avoid dying and save those that he grows close to.

The first profile is of him at the beginning of the fic, while the second is of him after over two decades of being forced to be a hero either by having replaced the protagonist of a series or by being close to one and his morals unwilling to let him sit idly by.

Spoiler for "Too much words!":
Name: [REDACTED] (TBA)
Race: Human (Servant?)
Class: Archer
Master: Tohsaka Rin
Age: 23
Height: 5' 6''
Weight: 140 lbs.
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Appearance: A lean, relatively fit young man, not unattractive, but with deep-set eyes and pale skin, the occasional dark freckle standing out starkly against it.
Alignment: Lawful Good

Stats
Strength: E-
Agility: E-
Endurance: E-
Mana: N/A
Luck: A
Noble Phantasm: D


Skills:[/b]
Living Spirit: EX - Archer is as close to unique amongst the infinite variety of Servants in the Kaleidoscope as can be. He is a truly living person, ripped from other realities and bound as a Servant in a Class. Archer may respire prana on his own, requiring little to no support from his master, though he still requires a Master as an arcane anchor to the world.

Independent Action: E- - Archer was a follower rather than a leader before becoming a Servant and as such, he has an insultingly low rank in this skill for his class. Archer may remain in the world even without accepting Prana from his master for 30 turns.

Prodigy: C - The Servant is able to learn at an absolutely prodigious speed provided certain conditions are met about either how the knowledge is gained or the type of knowledge itself. Many Shonen heroes have this ability related to their specialization or to combat, allowing them to learn in days what most learn in decades. When Archer is being taught a skill, he learns 30 times faster than a normal person.

Encyclopedic Knowledge: C - As a result of his Prodigy skill over the course of his life, Archer has a wide range of knowledge to draw from in many disciplines.


Noble Phantasms:
Impossible Knowledge: B - Archer bears knowledge from the depths of the Kaleidoscope, knowing things that he should not know, having come from a universe in which the world of the Holy Grail War is fiction.

Other Traits:
Charisma: E
Intelligence: A+

Affinity: Understanding / Learning

Element: Ether


Background: A relatively normal, if a bit weird, young man. Born in America and having lived their his entire, relatively short life, he has not had to deal with the hardships of life, but has seen both poverty and providence in those he was friends with. Having had a loving, middle-class family and no terrible luck befalling them, he has been sheltered from the worst of humanity, but has sought to learn about it. An unabashed nerd, he chose to go to college for accounting, but during the course of his job while in college, he had the horrendous luck of trying to stop an alternate, drunk Zeltrech from leaving the establishment without paying...

Personality:Pleasant and soft spoken, he prefers to avoid confrontation and to listen rather than to talk. He doesn't really mind people walking all over him or following orders, and is willing to change his opinion on many things and readily accept criticism. But with the few things he feels strongly about, he is absurdly stubborn. While lazy, he has no issues doing work, just trouble remembering to do so. Earnest, honest to a fault,  eager to please and see the good of people and the world around him, he's far more cynical than he initially appears.

Weakness: N/A
Likes: Cats, Writing, Sleeping, Reading, Cuddling, Cooking, Science
Dislikes: Idiocy, Tomatoes, Cruelty
Talents: Cooking, Cleaning, Writing, Learning, Mathamatics, Physics, Accounting, Business

This one is still open to revision, heavily, especially if people say that this seems overpowered (which I'm heavily concerned about honestly >_< ).  But this is the second draft of his 'final' strength in the Fate universe in this fic.

... man that was a lot of qualifiers on that statement...  :-[
Spoiler for "Too much words!":
Name: [REDACTED] (TBA)
Race: Human (Servant?)
Class: Archer
Master: Tohsaka Rin
Age: ~55
Height: 6' 3''
Weight: 340 lbs.
Eyes: Left Eye - Bright violet with runic inscriptions ; Right Eye - Metallic crimson with a vertical pupil and a silver 'white'
Hair: Brown with streaks of gray and silver
Appearance: A lean, relatively fit man, the years have not been kind to him. While not unattractive, scars mar his face, the only exposed portion of his body, one stretching from the corner of his mouth across his cheek, another set of claw marks over his left eye and eyelid, his right ear ragged from some old blow. Small scars and the occasional dark freckle stands out starkly against his pale skin.
Alignment: Lawful Good

Stats
Strength: C+
Agility: C+
Endurance: B+
Mana: C (A+)
Luck: E (A)
Noble Phantasm: EX


Skills:[/b]
Battle Continuation: A+ - While Lancer’s represents his determination to never give up and Berserkers represents his ability to not die, Archer’s represents a combination of his resilient body and his intense regenerative abilities. Any wound that is not decisively fatal will be healed within a day unless it bypasses his regeneration. Dragon-Bane weapons, weapons of sunlight or purifying weapons bypass his regeneration.
Uniquely, the only truly fatal blow for Archer is a blow to the head. Archer has multiple hearts that may be damaged or destroyed without damaging his spiritual core.

Divinity: D - While himself not a demigod, Archer has stolen the spark of divinity from a powerful Demigod of Murder.

Item Creation: EX - Archer is known as the King of All Craftsmen, and the title is not given lightly. He has crafted or improved upon each of his Noble Phantasms, and may create even A rank Noble Phantasms of all types given time and materials.

Living Spirit: EX - Archer is as close to unique amongst the infinite variety of Servants in the Kaleidoscope as can be. He is a truly living person, ripped from other realities and bound as a Servant in a Class. Archer may respire prana on his own, requiring little to no support from his master, though he still requires a Master as an arcane anchor to the world.

Independent Action: B - Archer has fought alone for years, but far more often at the head of or as part of a small team. As was a follower rather than a leader before becoming a Servant and as such, he has an insultingly low rank in this skill for his class. Archer may remain in the world even without accepting Prana from his master for 30 turns.

Prodigy: B - The Servant is able to learn at an absolutely prodigious speed provided certain conditions are met about either how the knowledge is gained or the type of knowledge itself. Many Shonen heroes have this ability related to their specialization or to combat, allowing them to learn in days what most learn in decades. When Archer is being taught a skill, he learns 40 times faster than a normal person.

Reservoir of Knowledge: A+ - Archer has a massive pool of knowledge and skills to draw from. It can reasonably be assumed that he is able to perform any learnable skill at minimum of D rank. He is able to use the following skills at B rank: Bravery, Charisma, Riding, Eye of the Mind (True), Presence Concealment, Instinct, and Military Tactics.

Tainted Blood: A - Archer has been tainted and corrupted by a half dozen different sources, sometimes deliberately, other times not. But he mastered each in turn, and as such, has gained an immense resistance to corruption and evil magics, even the mightiest of them having little to no effect. However, purifying and holy magics increase their effect against him by two ranks.

Transformation: EX - Archer can transform into one, and only one other form. That of a Dragon.
In this form, Archer is unable to use his Noble Phantasms other than Impossible Knowledge, Eyes of the Demon, and Fateless. Most of his skills are useless as well, but his Strength, Agility, Endurance, Mana, and Magic Resistance are all EX rated in this form.

Traveler's Magic: EX - Archer has a solid understanding of many different forms of magic of many different disciplines and is considered an Archmage in many worlds. While the amount of prana he has available is relatively small, he can do things with it that would boggle the minds of even Mages from the Age of Gods and is far more efficient with it when casting spells than would normally be assumed. His effective Mana rating is noted in his statline.
This Skill represents Archer possessing the following skills at A rank: Territory Creation, Thaumaturgy, Rune Magic, Arcane Language, Mana Manipulation, Fade Magic, Clairvoyance, Psionics, and Witchcraft.

Weaponmaster: A - Archer mystically resonates with any weapon he wields, and may lay claim to any weapon he touches. He may use any item with the trait of 'Weapon' as if he had been training with it his entire life, and while holding such an item, he increases all of his physical stats and skill by half a rank. This is already accounted for in his statline as his ever-present armor counts as a weapon.



Noble Phantasms:
Impossible Knowledge: B - Archer bears knowledge from the depths of the Kaleidoscope, knowing things that he should not know, having come from a universe in which the world of the Holy Grail War is fiction.

Armor of the Traveler: The Armor of Barriers, The Armor of Invincibility, Hide of the Demonic Dragon[/b]
Rank: EX Support Phantasm
Range: 0
Maximum Number of Targets: 1
The greatest work of the greatest craftsman, this is Archer's true Phantasm. It is one of the most powerful Defensive and Support Phantasms to ever exist, a suit of armor combines magic from the Age of Gods and technology from both far flung potential futures and distant pasts.

Any attack with a physical presence in the world has its power reduced by four ranks as its power is converted harmlessly into light. Additionally, the power of any elemental or physical attack is reduced by a further four ranks as they are stopped by azure ripples in space.

The armor has a final barrier, a combination of mighty technology and powerful magic. Crystalizing Mana and plasma around the wearer, creating a glowing field and runic inscriptions around them while active. In Fuyuki City or other Leyline areas, it allows Archer to ignore any attack of B rank or lower. An attack that pierces this defense has its power reduced by 4 ranks, but reduces the strength of this barrier by half a rank. In areas of normal prana distribution, the power of this defense is reduced.

The armor proper is effectively indestructible; any attack of C rank after piercing his shields simply fails to affect him. It reduces the power of any attack that hits Archer by three ranks.

In addition to its numerous lesser effects, the armor may shift its appearance at a minimal prana cost, appearing to all natural senses to be its new form, but it's protections and weight do not change. The armor also increases its wearers’ physical stats by one rank, though this is already accounted for in Archer's statline, for his armor is everpresent.

Arsenal Bow: The Bow which Shatters Mountains
Rank: A+ Anti-Unit or Anti-Continent Phantasm
Range: 3 - 999
Maximum Number of Targets: 10000
This massive recurve bow stands as tall as Archer himself and its center is far bulkier than normal. Any arrow fired from this bow flies at an astounding speed, few arrows can even survive the hypersonic transit. Anything fired by the bow also swerves around obstacles as it seeks its target. This bow is used by Archer to fire blades from his Arsenal of the Traveler at his foes like Arrows.
 
Arsenal of the Traveler:
Rank: D - A+ Anti-Personnel through Anti-Army
Range: N/A
Maximum Number of Targets: N/A
An arsenal of weapons collected from the depths of the Kalediscope and crafted by Archer’s own hands. Weapons from potential future and Ages of the Gods, weapons of advanced technology and powerful magic.

Some standouts in this arsenal include Derflinger, the Null Magic sword, Babbo, the Hammer and Flail, the Widowmaker, a rifle that fires slugs of metal at hypersonic speeds, Deadeye, the plasma sniper that fires concentrated blasts of superheated plasma, and Carsomyr, a powerful holy blade.

Barrier Shield: The Unbreakable Walls
Rank: A+++ Support Phantasm
Range: 1 - 50
Maximum Number of Targets: 500
Based on the same defensive principles as his armor, the Barrier Shield is an extremely powerful defensive phantasm in of itself. Creating a plane of various crystalized forces in front of the shield proper. Its defensive barriers are identical to that of his armor, and the shield proper may stop any blow of B rank or less.

Unlike his armor, the Barrier shield may spread its barriers to encompass a much larger area rather than just the user, shielding even a small town from an attack.

The shield itself is very large and heavy, being nearly 60 cm in diameter and able to witstand absolutely tremendous forces, it can be used as a D rank weapon in of itself with its' sharpened edges.

Eyes of the Demon:
Rank: C Support Phantasm
Range: 1 - 35
Maximum Number of Targets: 1
Archer's eyes pierce through all illusions regardless of their rank and allow him to perform D-rank Hypnosis or D-Rank Stat reduction on any that meet his gaze.

Fateless:
Rank: A Anti-Fate Phantasm
Range: N/A
Maximum Number of Targets: N/A
Archer is utterly immune to the powers of Fate, Destiny, and Luck. No effect drawing on these can touch him unless he chooses otherwise. Increase the power of his attacks against those particularly bound by Fate by one rank.

Archer has no luck one way or the other, represented by his E-rank Luck stat. But he may choose to have whatever luck rating he desires when facing a Luck Check provided he is aware of it.

Interitus: The Screaming Blade of Annihilation
Rank: A+++ Anti-Reality
Range: 1 - 99
Maximum Number of Targets: 1000
Archers’ most powerful sword Phantasm, it is a designed by Archer, for Archer.

An Unholy weapon of hatred, corruption, and destruction. Dense and heavy in both matter and prana, the blade is effectively indestructible and impossibly sharp, forged from materials beyond the earth and beyond reality. The blade vibrates at absurd speeds, moaning while at rest shrieking while swung and screaming like twisting metal and tortured souls as it cuts, tearing through anything it hits like a chainsaw even as it shakes it apart from the inside.

When invoked, the blade causes random, extreme fluctuations of space and time around the blade, tearing apart reality even as it brings it close to absolute zero and tears apart matter in a wave of power, rendering the world as it would be after the heat-death of the universe. The same way that Ea could be called the sword that reveals the world Before the Beginning, Interitus reveals the world After the End. As such, their effects cancel one another out. While, when fully charged by prana and spells from Archer, Interitus has an attack power of 'merely' 500 compared to Ea's 4000, Interitus is the direct counter to Ea and will cancel each other out at anything short of Ea's full power.

However, against Holy or the powers of light or purification, Interitus is weakened considerably, making Excalibur the perfect counter to the Screaming Blade.


Other Traits:
Charisma: B
Intelligence: A++

Affinity: Understanding / Learning

Element: Ether


Background: A relatively normal, if a bit weird, young man. Born in America and having lived their his entire, relatively short life, he has not had to deal with the hardships of life, but has seen both poverty and providence in those he was friends with. Having had a loving, middle-class family and no terrible luck befalling them, he has been sheltered from the worst of humanity, but has sought to learn about it. An unabashed nerd, he chose to go to college for accounting, but during the course of his job while in college, he had the horrendous luck of trying to stop an alternate, drunk Zeltrech from leaving the establishment without paying...

Having spent over two and a half decades in near constant combat and war, Archer has gained an immeasurable amount of experience and pain. He has fought demons and demigods, fallen angels and fae, and is both a Dragon-Slayer and a Dragon-Knight. He is a Mangus who wears armor, a swordsman who will use guns, a knight that will attack from stealth, and dozens of other seeming contradictions. He has seen the best and the worst humanity has to offer, and while he has cracked and bent, he has not broken. He has been reforged stronger in heart and purpose than before, and even if he was to die a failure, he would die without regrets.

Personality:Pleasant and generally soft spoken, he prefers to listen rather than to talk. While he is willing to change his opinions about people for the better, his ideals and morals are set in stone. He readily accepts criticism but is unrepentant of mistakes, for he has done the best he could with the information he had, the only thing he can do now is to get better. Authorative and charismatic, he is accustomed to being in command or an expert in a situation, but readily and happily allows those better suited to a situation to take command. While lazy, he has no issues doing work, just trouble remembering to do so. In spite of all that he's seen, he is still earnest, honest to a fault, eager to please, and quick to see the good in people and the world around him.

Weakness: Holy Magic, Dragon-Slaying Effects, Purifying Effects
Likes: Cats, Writing, Sleeping, Reading, Cuddling, Cooking, Magic, Science, Creation
Dislikes: Idiocy, Tomatoes, Cruelty, Intense Sunlight
Talents: Cooking, Cleaning, Writing, Learning, Mathematics, Physics, Accounting, Business


---

Also, are there any OCs that people want looked at? I haven't had time to go through the whole thread yet and any standouts that people still want looked at I'd be happy to do so ^_^

Bloble

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #85 on: February 16, 2014, 01:16:37 AM »
Bro your self insert could out fight Satoshi, and that story idea is worse than Naruto. In short, it's Ecstasy Darks levels of bad.

0/10


Andoriol

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #86 on: February 16, 2014, 04:49:03 AM »
I don't get either of those references sadly (Ecstasy Darks?), though the pic is funny :D

And I am determined to make the story not suck! Good? If I can swing it, but definitely at least not suck (5/10 at least! Aiming for a minimum of 5/10!)! This, admittedly, will take a while.

More seriously, I was worried that it ends up overpowered, I'd really like to avoid that and would appreciate help doing so :) Those two 'statlines' skip a lot of stuff. ... like hell, a lot of stuff. I just double checked, but it's over 200 pages of just brief summaries between those two statlines. Holy hell I didn't realize I'd written out that much o_O

Anyways, the emphasis of the story would be far less on "AWESOME POWERZ" and far more on "Oh god oh god oh god how do I note die?!", if I do it right (admittedly big If) then it would be a story about a struggle to survive, the repeated crushing of hubris, and how people change. That said, the goal of the story is to have fun, both for me writing it and for anyone reading it. Any help at all to make that happen would be awesome ^_^

Bloble

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #87 on: February 16, 2014, 05:33:08 AM »
Okay, I'll take the chance and assume you're serious about this and not one of CV's lame attempts at trolling. I have three pieces of advice for you.

1. Make your guy weaker, or at least make his final iteration weaker. This isn't something that's negotiable. The hard and fast rule is that Gilgamesh is the strongest Heroic Spirit. It's a rule for a reason. The fucker is OP on purpose and anyone capable of going toe to toe with serious Gil without pulling out an affinity advantage or the power of love (the explicit, author stated reason Saber beat him in Fate) is too strong to be a good character, no matter how many thousands of words you spend justifying said power. You can still have a good story and awesome fights with a relatively weak protagonist, and in fact, they'll be better for it (Shirou and Shiki spend Tsukihime and FSN barely managing to survive and hitting way above their level). Just look at lantz. He thinks his guy Satoshi is the best thing ever, but every single person other than lantz hates Satoshi's guts, and for good reason. Your character is even worse than that, somehow.

2. Read Sleeping With the Girls. It's a similar story to yours about an ordinary self insert thrown into a bunch of anime universes and forced to survive, and it's probably the best such story on the internet. If you're going to follow anyone's example, follow this story's.

3. Get a beta reader. Preferably not someone like Mike who only cares that his favourite character is treated nicely.

Andoriol

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #88 on: February 16, 2014, 05:53:52 AM »
Okay, I'll take the chance and assume you're serious about this and not one of CV's lame attempts at trolling. I have three pieces of advice for you.
Quite serious actually, more so than I originally thought I'd be when this popped into my head.

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1. Make your guy weaker, or at least make his final iteration weaker. This isn't something that's negotiable. The hard and fast rule is that Gilgamesh is the strongest Heroic Spirit. It's a rule for a reason. The fucker is OP on purpose and anyone capable of going toe to toe with serious Gil without pulling out an affinity advantage or the power of love (the explicit, author stated reason Saber beat him in Fate) is too strong to be a good character, no matter how many thousands of words you spend justifying said power. You can still have a good story and awesome fights with a relatively weak protagonist, and in fact, they'll be better for it (Shirou and Shiki spend Tsukihime and FSN barely managing to survive and hitting way above their level). Just look at lantz. He thinks his guy Satoshi is the best thing ever, but every single person other than lantz hates Satoshi's guts, and for good reason. Your character is even worse than that, somehow.
That's something I've been concerned about actually, almost exactly.

He spends the first ~third of the story severely underpowered, having to rely on good-natured allies and outside knowledge to not die horrendously. The second-third he's on-par for most of the worlds he ends up in, but still underpowered by Fate standards. It's only the final third of the story that he ends up overpowered, which I'm hoping to turn into an examination of what happens when you have power as well as how he deals with being superatural/unnatural in worlds without magic.

Thing is? Gilgamesh still beats this guy. His armor is explicitly ridiculous, but it doesn't stand up to Ea. Hell, everything he has combined doesn't stand up to Ea. He (by this much later point in the story) is able to stand up to Gate of Babylon in basic spam, but when Gilgamesh gets serious, this guy still loses. He's able to make Gil get somewhat serious, which is saying something, but yeah, Gilgamesh still beats him, even without using Enkidu (Which works on him because god damnit stolen Divinity, that's a nasty surprise when it happens).

IF Gilgamesh didn't take him seriously, Archer OC would take Gil down hard and fast before he had a chance to do otherwise. The problem is, Gilgamesh recognizes quality when he see's it, and that armor alone, not to mention the other 'Phantasms' he carries on him tip Gilgamesh off to take him seriously enough. Gilgamesh is arrogant, not stupid.

(And I forgot to state, yes, it is a Self-Insert, but I try to think of it as another, seperate person to make it easier to write)

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2. Read Sleeping With the Girls. It's a similar story to yours about an ordinary self insert thrown into a bunch of anime universes and forced to survive, and it's probably the best such story on the internet. If you're going to follow anyone's example, follow this story's.
That's actually the inspiration for this! I rather enjoyed it and intend to capture a large portion of the feel of that store if I can.

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3. Get a beta reader. Preferably not someone like Mike who only cares that his favourite character is treated nicely.
I intend to! I have a friend or two that might, but the more eyes looking at this the better, do you have any suggestions for good Beta Readers? :)

Bloble

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Re: the OC corner
« Reply #89 on: February 16, 2014, 06:13:37 AM »
Overpowered is almost never good, bro. Ever. Overpowered canon characters are almost always universally hated (except Gil, but whatevs) and overpowered OCs are guaranteed to be hated. I say this with a hundred percent certainty. Look from an outside perspective here. No matter how much you justify it or how much shit you put your character through, no one will like him once he gets that strong. 'Slightly weaker than Gil' is still much too powerful for pretty much everyone. Personally, I'd be wary if you made your guy more powerful than Saber or Lancer. But if that's your intention, fine.

If you're looking for a beta reader or more responses to your idea, I suggest going to Beast's Lair. They've got the best Type-Moon authors and fanboys, so they'll be able to provide better feedback than I ever could, though it'll probably be a lot more insulting as well.