The Expansive List of things you cannot do in Nexus City.

[Mordalfus Grea]

This is a list based Omake for Cross Effects

1) Should anyone encounter an elf-like woman who answers to the name Elf, do not engage in any form

1b) This does not mean you can arrest her AxeCop so put away the wanted posters of her, just because you are a police officer does not mean you can ignore these rules

2) Not Kaiju and/or giant robots

2b) Fitting Godzilla with gun arms, sunglasses and police badge does not exempt the Kaiju nor does hiring Autobot Prowl as a police officer work, do you understand AxeCop?

3) Saber Alter is never to be shown the works of Monty Python

4) No one is to inform AxeCop that all new arrivals and individuals not native to Nexus City, himself included are Illegal Immigrants.

5) Lawrence is hereby forbidden from being in close proxemity to any Magical Girls much less a Magical Girl Convention

6) Due to numerous complaints of accidental fires breaking out, Inferno Cop is to be tailed by a special group of firefighters at all times

[Cherry Lover]

3) Saber Alter is never to be shown the works of Monty Python

Well, most of them would be fine, except for Holy Grail....

4) No one is to inform AxeCop that all new arrivals and individuals not native to Nexus City, himself included are Illegal Immigrants.

Hah, indeed.

[The Man With All The Cute Boats]

7) Once AxeCop has called you by a name, it is your name. Period.

[Mordalfus Grea]

8] To whomever sent members of a certain team shirts labeled "I'm with Team Asshole", said team would like to talk with you

9) Lumberjack jokes in Forests presence is frowned upon

10) Should anyone encounter a tall purple haired woman, do not challenge her to a staring contest

10b) The last guy to do it is now serving a pigeon roost in the park

[Arch-Magos Winter]

11) Sakura shouldn't be trusted with weapons in a hostage situation.

11. b) This extends to both Sakuras

12)  Lawrence has a 3 a day tolerance of half naked women. Further dosages may prove fatal.

13) The Don does not buy Brawny paper towels for the packaging. Any further remarks on that topic will be referred to what happened the last time someone cracked that joke.

13. b) For the record, he simply likes the brand name.

[Cherry Lover]

11) Sakura shouldn't be trusted with weapons in a hostage situation.

11. b) This extends to both Sakuras

Eh, what?

[The Man With All The Cute Boats]

I wouldn't give a flower a weapon either.

You can't trust them. They're all out to get you.

14) Inferno Cop won't use his godly world-rewritting powers unless necessary by the plot, because he's forgotten that he has them.

[Mordalfus Grea]

15) The sewers of Nexus City are NOT a dungeon crawl.

16) Due to some obvious reasons, all newcomers in Nexus City are to report to the nearest registered therapist office. No exceptions.

16b) Satoshi is exempt as his therapist is currently being transferred to the city asylum

[Mordalfus Grea]

17) Tohsaka Rin is forbidden from drinking anything containing more than 300 milligrams of caffeine

17b) The same rule applies with alcohol, this means you can't spike her coffee Archer

18] Inferno Cop is forbidden from inspecting any more extremely flammable buildings, the last fire was a doozy

18b) This also bans Inferno Cop from conducting drug raids

19) Do not insult the cooking if either Sakura's or any of the Emiya's cooking either.

20) AxeCop is required to take a Police Training Course

[Elf]

21.) If you value your fellow members and underlings in your organized crime ring, don't try to get protection money from Forest.  She'll bring everything down on principal alone.

22.) If you're a supernatural entity, you may want to stay away from Lawrence before the Redheaded Driver goes all Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill.

[YOLF]

23.) Don't orgasm bite Forest before making sure you can attend to her mood afterwards.