Story Title: Captive blossom
Readability (18 of 20)
Genre goal (30 of 40)
Characterization (75 of 100)
Community (30 of 75)
Creativity (45 of 50)
Uniqueness (25 of 50)
Appeal (2 of 5)
Fun factor (10 of 30)
With only Mike's single entry (sadly) the contest comes to a close.
ultimately the scores don't matter, fandom and fan fiction is about having fun with something you like.
that said as judge I'm going to explain my thoughts on the work and Mike, as author can feel free to post said work if he chooses.
readability: There are some awkward sentences but it is mostly readable on a technical level.
Genre Goal: As porn it works for what it is but I find it largely unsustainable outside of that.
Characterization: Sakura and Rider are a bit out of sorts here, granted it's porn but something seems very off about their chemistry.
Community: Granted Satoshi as a Berserker has no written read template but he was fairly mischaracterized here. He's flat and formal with his speech, his logic is too cold when it should be filled with nonsensical and hilarious leaps and emotionally charged and he refers to characters incorrectly, Ilya and Shirou mostly. Further while he is in the strictest sense bound to obey his master and would as a result (most unfortunately) rape Sakura in this context if ordered to. His mind would alter his speech to reflect a more positive situation as a result, as much for his own remaining sanity as for Sakura's well being. He's not evil after all.
creativity: I don't think Bell can be used like that to bind people (much less a Dragon) it's still a good idea, although throwing out the bad guy here is what marked it down
uniqueness: I can say that I've never seen something quite like this, the clichés are all that keep it from being better.
appeal: Not my cup of tea, sorry
Fun factor: it was rather dull in this respect, I just couldn't get into it.
