To whom it may concern,
The dearest patron, demonic and most esteemed lady of this fine castle. Here you will find the due payment for our previous transactions, as well as for the newest acquisition due later today. As promised, 45 crates of solid gold, exactly 666 rubees, 13 sappphire wands, 7... chaos (was this correct?) emeralds, ten tons of prime wagyu beef, 3 elephants and a pony.
Truth be told, I can't fathom a pocket large enough to fit the ponies, but someone in the administration level seemed quite insistent on its necessity. Even a king must know when to be generous to one's subjects, but what is something even greater than that to do? Well, I wasn't about to relinquish your kindness, thus I found it in my heart - and credit card, juuuust enough to cover a few extra ponies. The 11 additional ones will be transported shortly. You can raise them, ride them, donate them to charity, put them in today's soup... truth be told, I care not. I simply wish to thank you for your past hospitalities, and that warrants the extra effort. Not that it was much to begin with, something like this would be trivial to me. Except the emeralds, I'm still unsure what exactly the notes meant to say. And since when did you employ a doctor... Robotnik? Quite the strange name.
Either way, as promised, our terms were met in full. Now, as agreed, I would kindly request your cutest maiden to assist me at my behest. My household required laborious tending, and my bones are oh so aching for -
Unfortunately, the rest of the note was illegible. In fact, a pony was in the middle of chewing it up.
Not that it'd need a signature. Only one person in the city had a handwriting this delicate and adorable.
It started with V. Ended with ega, which was one letter away from the massive ego you'd need to send something like this in the first place.