Methuselah
Sitting in his one room apartment, legs folded and ramen cup ready, the dark lord sipped while watching the latest episode of CSI. What an awesome day, it couldn't have gone any better. He had almost missed the episode, but luckily the bus came just on time. Lucky~!
He'd have to work hard though, just like Horatio. No damn hooligan was going to cause trouble under his watch, no sir! He'd bring criminals to justice, and have them see the righteous path like a shining beacon of light in the darkness. But of course, he'd also get to solve mysteries, fight, and if he was really lucky he might even have a cute female partner he could RIGHTEOUSLY PROTECT.
His eyes were filled with as much marvel as his mouth was filled with noodles. He worked hard, but things would only get better from here. The episode just ended, and so did his soup. In the end, he didn't get to cook the egg. Maybe next time, but now what he needed was a warrior's rest. So without neglecting the brushing of his blood red teeth, stretches and changing into proper pajamas, Methuselah the abyssal fell onto his bed and looked up dreamily.
His smile was victorious, right now he felt like a champion!
Five months later...
"This sucks."
An empty cup of ramen soup slammed against the TV screen, only to bounce off and land on a nearby pile of other ramen cups. In a few months what had once been a proud tiny home had turned into a cavern of the damned, a lair of filth, darkness and oppressive loneliness. A place where dreams were born, only to die cruelly.
Lying around empty bottles and cups, a half naked beast, even more monstrous than in the past, was scratching its butt while lazily watching yet another CSI re-run. Same meal, same job, same old story. What had once been an exciting adventure was now nothing more than a chore.
He was growing sick of it, why couldn't he get a real assignment already!?
He knew of the happenings around Nexus City, surely there must be something going on. But no one seemed to hire him for said jobs. All he got were boring divorce cases where he'd investigate a partner in order to dig dirt, that and politicians. But did anyone come to ask him to spy over massive conspiracies, or work undercover in a secret underground drug trafficking gang? No. Of all things he'd expect a Private Investigator to feel like, he'd have never thought bored would be one of them until now.
The shadowed deity yawned lazily and glanced at the clock. Great, late for another doctor's appointment. Maybe he should get up already, maybe clean up a little around. His doctor didn't deserve to wait, but screw it. At least then he wouldn't be the only one being bored out of his wits.
Suddenly, the phone rang. At least that was new, he didn't get calls often. Stretching tiredly, he wobbled until the phone and answered it. Hopefully it wasn't just some pizza guy.
"Hello, yes?" -
After a while, the dark avatar's eyes widened like hellish caves. Really? Could this be true? If it was a prank, it was in really poor taste but...
He didn't have to think twice over it. Anything better than this trashy monotony, to hell with boredom.
"Yes, I'll be right there!" He answered immediately, and fr the first time in a long while he sounded excited.
