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« on: October 03, 2013, 04:11:09 AM »
Shirou was surprised when Vanessa suddenly keeled over laughing about his past. It wasn't that funny! His face must have shown some of his outrage, because she quickly stopped, offering a grin as an apology.
"Sorry, I just didn't expect that from you. It's like telling me that a vampire hunter had in the past sold products in a bakery or something. A bit difficult to imagine," she choked out, face still rosy from her laughing fit. Her analogy made him chuckle a little as well. He always forgot that he was practically the Clock Tower's equivalence to the bogeyman. Going from that point of view, it would be pretty hilarious to know that someone like him used to be a pushover.
He quickly sobered up though, before continuing on with his explanation. By the end, Vanessa was completely sobered up, staring at him in shock. A predictable reaction. He'd seen that same face every time he opened up about himself, that look of shock, quickly followed by disgu-
She poked him on the nose.
You're actually better off smiling," she said simply.
"You know, humans always search for something they lack. Because of that desire, it makes us flawed. For example, most magi just simply search a path to the root. Some don't even have a wish of their own initially, but they seek it regardless and soon it becomes their own desire. What I learned from observation is that when you're truly focused on something, you tend to forget about the rest. Morals vanish one after another. When you're criticized by others you ignore it because they don't see things the same way. Different perspectives affect how interpreted your actions will be judged and you start to become bold. After a while, things become blurry. You reach a dead end, try again. Another dead end. Now, you become frustratred and start doubting your own abilities. In the end, you become desesperate and commit atrocities. In the end you can even lose your sense of self."
She pressed her palm onto his chest, just above his heart. If she felt inclined to, she could probably have killed him right there and then. Instead she continued.
"What matters is here. As long as you can smile, then, there's no regrets to have. Even if you happen to lose your way, all you have to do is search the moment where you trailed off. Set yourself back and try again. As long as you can still smile, you can keep things in perspective. As long as you start looking at life from such a point of view, it's easier to live with yourself and thus, another world of possibilities opens to you. As long as you can smile. "
Vanessa then winked at him. "So smile a lot more from now on," she chirped with a grin, "But seriously, tell me more about your false janitor life. I'm sure you were bullied, you have the looks of it, come on, tell me everything!!"
These two twins really were two of a kind...
What did they see in him? He was cordial right now, but that was only due to extenuating circumstances. Isa hadn't even seen this part of him when she had made her judgement on his character, and yet, she too held belief that he was more than just a murderer who killed for the sake of others. That he could redeem himself.
He smirked slightly in amusement.
"Look at you. A few minutes earlier you were contemplating running away from me, and now here you are lecturing me on how to live better," he said teasingly, "...But I'll keep what you said in mind."
"Is my school life really that interesting to you?" Shirou said exasperatedly. At her enthusiastic nodding, Shirou sighed, resigned to his fate.
"I wasn't bullied per say. Not as in everyone hated me and went out of their way to hurt me. I was far too useful and nice for that to happen. No, the only things they really did was to either pass off their cleaning assignments over to me, so they could go hang out with their friends. I enjoyed the feeling of being able to help, so I always said yes, even if it ended up inconveniencing me," he explained, a ghost of a smile on his face as he remembered simpler times.
"My friend Shinji used to do it all the time. Though in hindsight, he wasn't my friend at all, he was probably the worst one out of all of them..." he mused, face darkening as he remembered...that girl's brother, and how she had suffered at his hands.
Shirou opened his mouth to say more, but was cut off by the sounds of conflict and shouting. He broke into a run, peering around the corner to see what had happened. He face-palmed when he realised it had been nothing more than everyone arguing. Again. What had they gotten up to while he'd been gone? God, how do they get anything done?
He turned to Vanessa.
"Well...these are my compatriots. Not that I really had a choice in the matter. Besides Forest, Rin and Hakuno, every single one of them are idiots...so don't pay them too much mind," he said flatly, before pointing over to the blond vampire. He waited patiently, telling Vanessa to stay put, "Once they get into this mood, they'll argue forever. We'll wait until they've finally finished before we enter. It'll be easier that way."
Once he deemed everything had finally settled, he motioned Vanessa to follow him.
"Come on," he said, stepping out into the open.
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