Little Russia

[Umbra of Chaos]

Uria

"Stew for me!" They weren't exactly sure what that was, but it sounded delicious. It's not like they had cooked anything before. After all, cooking was a talent! Just roasting things under their light wasn't going to make anything taste good.

[Bern]

Bradley

"One steaming stew coming right up..."

With some quick hand movements and some even quicker leg work, a bowl seemingly materialized in front of Uria, and it was steaming just like he said it would. Then the smell hit them. It was like fireworks going off inside your brain, assaulting your senses with flavors that just couldn't be natural. and of course they weren't, the strong rich flavors were there to mask the taste of the potent relaxant.

"And for you.." The bartender brought out a cocktail glass and then poured something into it from a strange metallic container, he then stirred it before finally plopping a few grey cubes into it...

"I hope you won't insult our glorious leader by sipping on that like some pansy."

[YOLF]

Lubei

That was fast. Maybe the serving was magic, because the stew looked impeccably appetizing. Lubei was almost impressed, until he saw his order. Freezing a groan in his throat, a whiff of it hit him with immediate regret. He should have just asked for something normal. There was nowhere in the three realms that would serve something normal if you asked for a strong drink.

But that lip from a mere human server. Lubei's hand rested around the strange glass, and his spectral raptor's face crinkled like a raisin. 'You haven't promised any-'

The demon lord pulled it to his mouth and swigged nearly half of it in one go. His throat bobbed, and his head swayed back, and then to the front, and he paused the glass with a soft clink on the counter.

Lubei's eyes were wide as though he'd been bitten by a thousand needles, and he whipped his skull around with a shaky huff of air.

"You," he said, forcing himself to blink. "Who is this glo... glorious leader?"

[Umbra of Chaos]

Uria

They reached out with an arm, and their arm mutated. It doubled in size, the flesh turned dark purple and black as shadows flooded their veins, and eyes blossomed along it as the palm opened up into a slavering mouth. Teeth latched around the bowl's rim, lifted it up, and swallowed the whole stew at once. Uria closed their eyes, making a pleased sound as the arm reverted and released the empty container. "That was wonderful!"

[Bern]

Bradley

His eyes widened at the sight of bowl being drained like that and he quickly snatched it back the moment she finished devouring the stew. He didn't bother to answer the man's question at first as he seemed overly concerned with examining the bowl for any damage.

With a loud sigh he put it down.

"You're lucky girl, if there was even a scratch, not even the blessing of our Lord would be able to save you." Then he snapped around like a doll on strings to face Lubei, the movement was completely unnatural, robotic almost...And pointed to a portrait on the wall of Her Majesty. "Glory to the little Tzaritza!"

"Glory to our little Tzaritza!"

"Glory to our little Tzaritza!"

"Glory to our little Tzaritza!"

His statement was followed by roughly half the crowd suddenly standing up and saluting to the portrait.

"What brings two travelers like you to our glorious land?"

[YOLF]

Lubei

He should have said something about Uria's table manners, but as it stood he barely took notice. Some people consumed with their hands, that was normal. What was very much not normal was the mortals suddenly standing as if in collective ovation for a flawless, glorious savior.

Lubei leaned out from the counter and squinted, peering at the object of their adoration. One hand scraping on the wood kept him steady as he considered the painting. It featured a distressingly appareled child, but he loathed to admit, there was a kind of regal dignity in the eyes and expression.

The demon staggered back to the worker, propping his arms on the front of the bar. "Don't know. Stopped for convenience, and the cold," he answered, eyes unfocusing as they glazed over his unfinished glass. Lubei's severe brows twitched. "This is... isn't Shenzhou. What's this city's name?"

[Umbra of Chaos]

Uria

She should put on a shirt! Uria clothed herself after all, and they were just born a few days ago. How hard could it be for an empress? They were about to answer the question, but then something black leaked from their lips. Uria's head felt a bit light, and memories floated to the surface of their mind. Light, and persecution, and unforgiving holiness. Something weak and dark got all burned up.

Then they heaved and vomited the void liquid on the counter. One retch followed after the other, but as the empty fluid vacacted their body there was no sign of the stew. "Ugh... oops?" They wiped their mouth with a sleeve.

[Bern]

Bradley

"I see.... so you are one of.... HEY CUT IT OUT!"

Boink.

That was the sound of a frying pan being slammed on Uria's head.

"How dare you barf all over the holy counter! You vandal, blasphemer, Heathen you! It's been a family heirloom for generations! THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED! RWAAAAARGH!"

Riiiiiiip-

His shirt exploded, yes his shirt really did just explode off him. Revealing a physique that was swoleness beyond swole, his muscles weren't simply carved out of rock. They were grown, raised and nurtured by nothing more than LIQUOR AND FAITH.

And his shadow now loomed over Lubei and his half full drink.

"Finish it."

[YOLF]

Lubei

A deep chill jumped in the bar as Lubei straightened, eyes wide at Uria. The pan that smacked the child in the head came away covered in a sheet of ice, and the rest of the cocktail in the glass froze solid as he ignored the outcry of the bartender to grab his companion's slight shoulder.

"What is that??" He asked, shaking her. It seemed he had forgotten a similar event from the woods, for his face furrowed in concern and outrage, and his gaze leaped back to the much bigger man. "Your drink can scram! What did you even give her?"

[Bern]

Bradley

"Regular.....Nutritious...And....Delicious....Beef....STEW!"

The bartender was flexing, his muscles bulging as he switched from pose to pose between every word spoken. "Eat it and grow strong little ones, so that you may one day be worthy to praise our Tzaritza!"

"Glory to our little Tzaritza!"

"Glory to our little Tzaritza!"

"Glory to our little Tzaritza!"

The people who saluted earlier barely had enough time to sit down before they all shot up and did the same thing as earlier, saluting the scantily clad portrait of the gloriosu ruler.

[Umbra of Chaos]

Uria

They spit a little bit, the last bits of vomit refusing to get out even after that. Then they started rubbing their head with a frown. "Oww... That was really mean!" Uria's arm began to glow and tendrils of light trailed around it. Then they converged, the limb glowing like a hammer of judgement before pulverizing the counter into dust.

[YOLF]

Lubei

The demon king gaped soundlessly at the repeated enthusiasm of every human in the establishment. His face was twisted in a consternated mixture of feelings, and his arms followed sourly, slackening in their grip. That was when a great force and pull of spiritual power vibrated through his body from the immediate surroundings.

He turned back to his unwitting ward just in time to stare blankly at the damage she had wrought. It was like a hundred... thousand, or whatever other impressive and non-literal number of pins had dropped in an empty council. With no recourse left to him, Lubei only laid an open hand on Uria's head with a single pat.

"Well, you don't have to worry about cleaning it," he remarked.

[Bern]

Bradley

"Praise be our little Tzaritza for in her infinite wisdom she is a just ruler. Sinners falter before her divine might and the true believers will receive her blessing and weather the coming storm, amen."

"Amen!"

"Amen!"

"Amen!"

As their prayer concluded, the splintered pieces of the counted all reversed course. No it was like a divine hand had come down and decided to piece it together piece by piece. It only took an instant, but that instant was alike an a never ending eternity, each piece carefully put in place to unveil the predestined architecture as laid out by The Lord. The fruits of creation was laid bare before them in that fleeting eternity and burned into their minds, for its beauty was not of this world, and only understood as His unconditional love for the Creation.

The moment was over as fast as it had begun, and in its place, the counter had returned in full glory. No, it was not the counter anymore it was something more, something far grander, and something not wholly of this world anymore. It was a sanctuary for the believers, and anathema for the unclean and unworthy, for those who rejected His love had no place here before the [Holy Counter].

[YOLF]

Lubei Sang

An anvil dropped in his stomach and Lubei wished sincerely that all of his inebriation would fall with it. The unmistakable pressure of divinity pressed down like a bank of mist, having grown solid before his every eyes.

His feet challenged him like sleepy dogs, but he grabbed Uria by the scruff of the neck and pulled her back from the counter. Why had he called this place homely? More like a trap, shit! The demon king blinked past the men, to the portrait of the child that was doubtlessly the god of this place, and then away. He considered the door. His hand itched to hold his sword, but he was the visitor here and there was no justification to attack first. Yet.

If he yelled his complaints, his shadow would just stuff them into his ears, but the situation was such cheap drama. The demon was more inclined to pretend it wasn't real. Maybe he imagined that small miracle. Yes, he was probably just seeing things because of the alcohol!

"Do you have rooms here?" He asked the barman, working through an unintelligible grumble.

[Umbra of Chaos]

Uria

Their eyes flicked up to Lubei as they were pulled back, a sharp clarity filling them. "We don't need to stay here if you don't want to! This place is a little weird. You shouldn't worship people like gods after all, even if they're really cool and strong!" They were only people after all.