As the pleasantly warm water, scalding hot only moments before, cascaded over the teen, washing away layers of grime and dirt, Adjutor found himself thinking about everything that had happened the previous night and the day before.
Honestly, this is somehow not the shittiest day we've ever had.
No, but it comes pretty close.
Hey, at least it's ending on a decent note.
And? We're out of a job, probably hated by that Sorcerer guy for breaking into his workshop, and...well...let's face it. Our new hostess doesn't really seem like she appreciates our being here, given that she looked like she was going to punch us out a few minutes ago.
Well, in all fairness, you did kinda bring that on yourself.
Doesn't change the fact that she has no reason to let us stay, and now we've given her even less of a reason.
Is that eve-
Don't, Xarrest, just don't.
Look, I'm just trying-
To help? To distract me from how much more impossible this ideal has become? What?!
...I think you need to take a step back and evaluate the situation. If she wanted us out, I'd think she wouldn't have let us use her shower first.
Well...
Look, Adjutor, let's face it. We're fucking social outcasts most of the time, of course we're going to say and do stupid things every now and then. You don't need to walk around on eggshells, you know.
Except we do. Look at what happened with that screamer at the hospital. One look at the non-human and suddenly he's trying to murder everyone. How can you expect me not to be walking around on eggshells when, considering how this place apparently is, people like him could very well be commonplace?
Our hostess isn't like that.
I guess that's of some comfort. ...Fuck, why are we even bothering? I mean, seriously, with the way this place is, there are going to be new Monsters coming in potentially every day.
And? It's not like we're the only people who don't take kindly to those kinds of assholes.
Be that as it may...now it really is impossible. Really, what's the point?
Of what?
Living with this ideal. Nothing we do as the Monster Hunter will make a difference here.
Then try to find something else to be?
The Monster Hunter is everything that I am! It's the only reason I went back to Orthos! The only reason I had to live! All I've ever done is hunt Monsters!
Bull. Fucking. Shit. What did you live for before you met me?
That person doesn't matter here. He died when I was born, and you know it.
So you're telling me that the old you wouldn't have gone around, trying to make things better for people, if he had what you have?!
Why would he?! He had no reason to do so, no obligation. He would have taken his powers, carved out a nice cushy place in the world to live, and done whatever he so pleased! Or he would have turned vigilante out of some misguided idealism. Or maybe he would have hidden his powers, forgotten them with time, and tried to live a normal life. I don't know, because he died. All I know is that, whatever path he would have taken, he would make sure he wasn't alone. Heh. That's the one thing we have in common, him and I, and you for that matter, we all hate to be alone.
That's not the point here. The point is that you shouldn't be giving up just because your ideal can't possibly be fulfilled. It was impossible to accomplish in the first place! They're fucking ideals. Dreams, hopes, desires, what have you, but an ideal world cannot exist, and even if it could, it wouldn't be worth living in. For the love of the Pantheon, I can't believe I'm actually the one telling you this.
That much is obvious. But this ideal is all that I have left, at this point.
No it's not. It's not even an ideal that you want to follow.
Your point?
Okay let me try a different approach. Do you like killing, yes or no?
No.
So why do you keep doing it?
To keep others from having to go through what I went through then. Or at the very least make their lives better however we can.
And do you like doing this?
Of course. No one should have to have their whole life torn away from them. If I can prevent anything like that from happening, then why shouldn't I?
But you realize that it's impossible to stop new Monsters from appearing?
I would like to think it isn't...but it probably is impossible.
So why are you giving up now?
This whole situation is hopeless, though. There could be any number of Monsters coming in at any time the time, and we don't have Darius.
Yes, we don't have Darius, I will admit that that is a problem.
But, then again, we have nothing to go back to...
Dammit, I was trying to avoid this.
We have nothing to go back to, we can't possibly make a difference here, and we have no way out even if we wanted to leave.
Why do you assume you can't make a difference? I mean...dammit, can you just take your mind off this subject for now? Think about something else? A new Concept, maybe?
...I don't know...
Then how about you go out and try meeting some new people? Pantheon knows there's no shortage of supply in that regard.
Maybe.
Besides, look on the bright side. We're not alone right now, are we?
And that isn't subject to change?
Fuck you, stop thinking like that.
Grendel, though exhausted beyond all possible belief, was still disciplined enough to at least change out of his Inquisitorial robes and into something slightly more comfortable, emphasis on slightly, before collapsing onto the surprisingly decent bed that was likely the only appreciable thing about this seedy motel room. Though he was no stranger to sleeping in less-than-ideal conditions, the Inquisitor found himself unable to drift off into that peaceful oblivion. He tossed and turned in the bed for a few hours before finally giving up on sleeping altogether, sitting up in his bed as he contemplated everything that had happened since he'd arrived in this strange place.
I am an Inquisitor, a Living Saint, another of the Emperor's many tools, and I am stranded on a backwards planet that has somehow drifted from His Light. The people here are somehow ignorant of the Emperor and His Works. And I have no way to report back to the Inquisition on my findings here. As it stands, I am incapable of carrying out my duties, I have no knowledge of this place or any Heresies that might be lurking beneath whatever veil of lies that might have been woven for their protection.
No. That wasn't right.
...Where did I lose myself? I am a Living Saint of the Imperium, a mere tool of the God Emperor's own Will. This world may be beyond the light that shines from Holy Terra, but I am that through which the Light of the Emperor shall be shown to this world, should he see fit to use me. I should not doubt my own purpose simply because I cannot call upon the resources of the Inquisition. Not while the Emperor still sees fit to work through me! There is work to be done, and it shall be done. No stone shall be unturned, no Heresy will be beyond my reach.
"Foolish of me," Grendel remarks with no small amount of disgust, "To think that I had been forsaken by Him. Never again shall I falter. Never again shall I doubt."
With this assurance calming his mind, Grendel tries to sleep once more, noting that he will need rest if he is to carry out his duties to the best of his abilities tomorrow. This time, the peaceful oblivion comes quickly.
When tomorrow came, he would not be found wanting.
