First… there was nothing but the urge to puke. She didn´t know why though, as she fell out of her mother’s belly, as it had been opened up involuntarily. She simply fell to the ground, accompanied by the warm touch of intestines. Then somebody lifted her up, separated her from this gentle, soft embrace. Even though it didn´t matter, she screamed and cried. She didn´t want to leave the gut´s warmth. But obviously she had to… and no matter how much she yelled and struggled, the abductor wouldn´t let go of her.
So she happened to be raised as that mans daughter. His name was Gilbert and he was her one and only father. He told her that her mother, his wife had died when she gave birth to Gwyndolin, so the girl felt regret considering her father´s great loss, just because of her. Why was she born at all? It wasn´t like she´d be any good to her father. She couldn´t even comfort him properly, as he always pushed her away when she tried to.
It was obvious he hated her, even though he tried to proof her wrong, by buying her presents. Usually she should wear them at evening, while preparing meals, or cleaning up the little hut, where they were living in. The simple life lived by the hunter and his daughter.
There could be nothing wrong with that, could there? He even forgave her, for killing her mother, when she became ten. He would always tell her to comfort him now, as he said that´d be the only thing that could make him happy. She couldn´t claim that she´d understand his doing… but the more she comforted him, the less painful it became. He always had told her, that people had to pay for their sins through pain. So that would surely mean that the disappearance of the pain at night… was her relieve from the guilt of murdering her mother.
She was finally able to enjoy comforting him. As it should be… and not just that! She even was able to help him get some money! All she had to do was waiting at the hut, and then father would return with one or more men. All she had to do then was to comfort them… like she did with father. And as she did that, her memory allowed her to see the red embrace again. The crimson embrace of birth and the iron smell of blood.
She would never know that it had been her very own father who cut her out of her mother´s belly.
Then one day, her father brought a strange looking man with him. He was bleeding from two deep wounds in his torso. The man wasn´t gentle… he wouldn´t even let her embrace him. His touch was painful… and the warm feeling was pressed, stained by blinding, deafening pain, which dulled her senses more than any ecstasy ever could. She could only remember falling to the ground, as the man laughed at her, before stumbling over to her father. As Gilbert extended his hand in order to retrieve his payment, the man simply made her father´s hand disappear in a red fountain.
Father then started screaming; he fell down to the floor and squirmed, winding and twisting in his own blood. Gwyndolin simply watched as it happened, before the strange man bent over her father… and started devouring him. Her father tried to attack him with his remaining hand, holding a knife in it, but he lost both in the attempt.
Then suddenly the strange man walked towards Gwyndolin, breathing heavily, and pulled her next to her father´s dying body. He then ordered her to eat and even though she wanted to refuse, the pleading look in her father's eyes made her realize the duty she had to fulfill. The duty to make her father happy. No matter what.
So she ate… she ate and pleased him in his last remaining breaths. Before she grabbed the knife and cut half through the strange, bleeding, laughing man´s head. He stopped laughing… and fell to the ground, where he suddenly started changing his appearance. He became a monster… a dead monster at that.
Soon after the night´s happenings, a strange man in black appeared. The warriors had followed the yoma's track to this place, but wouldn´t enter the place, as there wasn´t anything remaining, aside from a dead monsters body.
So the man in black, walked towards Gwyndolin and he smiled as he stated in a gentle, soothing manner:”You come with me now.”
Gwyndolin wouldn´t refuse, as a vicious smile hat branded her face like a scar. She had no need to refuse anything.
She finally understood the reason why she had been born!
However life didn´t prove to be the way she imagined it, when she joined the organization. First of all, the other trainees didn´t really seem to like her, although she just couldn´t think of any reason why. She simply did what the instructors told her. The slight beatings she had to give the other trainees in order to comfort the instructor weren´t anything personal. And they could have just fought back right? Although it could have been a possibility that they weren´t allowed to fight back due to her being the instructors favorite!
Well but she wasn´t the instructors favorite, she had to do the same things as the others all along. She just didn´t see any reason to refuse an order. It was her duty to satisfy the instructor… and the same way it was her duty to satisfy the needs of the men in black, whenever they ordered her to do so. Cruelty was a natural part of life, wasn´t it? And violence was the means to to an end called “Mission accomplished” there never was any other way of dealing with things to begin with, was there?
It had always been that way, why would the others complain, when they had to do their duty? Wasn´t it a relief to have a purpose? To have something to cling to? How would they just wander around without anything to do? There just was no logical answer to that question.
They had to do what they were told to do, just like good girls, just like father taught her to be! She had to be this way, and same went for the other girls! They mustn´t be naughty, they mustn´t refuse orders! And if they insisted on refusing them, the only logical conclusion would be consequences! And consequences could only be reflected in pain properly, as naughty girls never understood anything else but pain! They were just too stupid, too irresponsible and too selfish to understand it any other way!
So she started hurting them whenever they rebelled even the slightest! She would beat her pretty comrade’s face to a pulpy mass, as she complained about their mission. She would force another comrade to sit on glowing coals because she badmouthed, the initiation of their old instructor to the men in black! And the men in black didn´t mind it! They even told her that she did fine in pushing her comrades into the right direction.
But whenever she was sent for a hunt… she wondered. Why would they save this weak pathetic creatures, unable to even hold themselves against those demonic creatures? Why save them? Why not just kill them all and take their money instead of working for those pathetic fools without a purpose? It would be far more lucrative… and she would be able to fulfill her father´s last wish!
Hunt to kill! And then devour your prey! That´s what a hunter´s life was all about! And her father was a hunter, as she was his well earned prey! She Gwyndolin was the result of his efforts! It was her who killed her mother, it was him who had to pay a price to get what he wanted! There was no other logical conclusion to this matter!
So it was completely up to her to live up to her father´s wish and be a good predator! Oh and she was a predator…
It didn´t just happen once that Gwyndolin came… “Too late to save the people of the village, the yoma had already killed them all!”
In fact it had been Gwyndolin who ripped the villagers into pieces after determining who the actual yoma was. And considering that she lacerated those people with her bare hands and fangs, the organization seemed to believe her, due to the actual resemblance to yoma-attacks and her overall astounding behavior towards men in black and instructors. Actually they just wanted to further observe her progress.
However as the other warriors tended to keep a distance to Gwyndolin, she had to look for comfort somewhere else. And none of the men in black were the kind of people to befriend, neither were the instructors. So… prey or not… she kind of had to befriend villagers.
So Gwyndolin decided to look for interesting individuals on her upcoming hunts. And as she marched into another village to hunt down a yoma, she delayed the kill for a couple of days. Until she finally discovered a young man who was living nearby the village, in a small hut. So Gwyndolin went for the kill, before visiting this man in his hut. She didn´t exactly know what it was that attracted her to this specific individual, but she couldn´t help observing him, when he actually threw himself in front of a cart to prevent a puppy from being run over.
She just couldn´t understand this course of action at all. It was against nature to throw your life away for a lower existence, used as food. But this guy did it… why would he do it?
So she asked him… and he answered her, with a gentle yet somehow didactic smile:”Saving lives is my way of finding happiness. And I don´t care what life it is... or of how much importance it may be. It is just the way I think a being should live! How should I save my own life, if I can´t even treasure those of other creatures? That just wouldn´t make any sense… so I repay for my humanly mistakes, by protecting those who can´t protect themselves.”
That´s what he said… and what put Gwyndolins whole world upside down. Wasn´t this against any law of nature? Wasn´t this… completely stupid? Just retarded and illogical? But… why, just why couldn´t she get over the fact, that she admired this man in a way she couldn´t even comprehend herself?
He scared her… he scared her to the upmost, because she just couldn´t understand him at all.
However, Theon, how he introduced himself, made her return to the village whenever she was around, hunting down yoma. And she hadn't killed a single villager since the moment she met him. And whenever she visited him, he would welcome her with his warm smile. He would offer her a cup of tea, made of bitter herbs.
She didn´t like the tea… but she would always drink it just to see how happy Theon was, knowing that at least somebody would be here to accompany him, aside from small animals and plants. As she found out, the other villagers considered him a weirdo. Maybe that was the reason Gwyndolin couldn´t help but consider all those villagers as weirdos. In her eyes this strange man in his late twenties was the illusion of a perfect world. After a couple of months that they met in the small woods around the village, or in his hut, she learnt that he had been very lonely, living like this in the forest. And her company… and her listening to his words and explanations, as well as her slight laughter made him… say something.
Theon said:”Until I met you… there was nothing in particular for me. Just this unbearable emptiness, that no deed in the world could ever fill. I did horrible things… just to feel whole. As a whole being I thought, that I could be happy. But those cruel deeds just made it worse… so I looked at what I had done… I looked at it and I saw, that there was nothing to gain, nothing to achieve! All I had to do was treasure life! Just being and letting be was the way I could live for… but it was only when I had you around, that I noticed, that without someone to share this world. It would always stay empty… so I hereby ask you, silver-eyed witch Gwyndolin, Warrior of the Organization… do you want to spend those calm years with me? I am aware, that you have to fulfill your duty of protecting the people of this land, from this demonic threat, that is just inevitable. But I… I just want to know that I have someone who would cry over my grave as I die. So please… please accept this ring from me, dearest Gwyndolin.”
It was the first time Gwyndolin… the warrior given the name “Savage”, cried. She cried out of joy, holding this tiny little piece of metal, knowing that it was all just a bad dream. She finally woke up from a nightmare that had started with her birth. She had found someone, who returned the love she gave to him.
And it was as her world was reborn, that she spent the night with this man.
And even he shed tears, as he saw her scars. But he wouldn´t loosen his embrace as he saw them. This strengthened her will… her world.
Only weeks before it should come crashing down. It was when she found a puppy, looking almost the same as the one Theon saved on their first encounter. But as she entered the village… she saw him.
He was burning… the villagers had hunt him down like an animal, before binding him at the stake. Now as Gwyndolin closed in she could hear him, screaming her name in delusional suffering. He screamed over and over again, that he´d come back to get her. She wouldn´t have to stay alone forever, she would just have to wait for him.
But that was only until her gaze reached down to the people, surrounding her burning love with vicious faces. The red curtains of her past, shut Gwyndolins eyes from any reasoning.
She slaughtered the whole village in an never known bloodrage. She grabbed Theons ring, put it where she kept her own and then she ran. She just ran without a destination or a purpose, all she could think of was running, running until her feet couldn´t bear her weight anymore, running until she would fall over in the end.
So… finally…
She was all alone again.
