Prologue
Sakura: Such a fine weather, it makes you want to go out.
But where to... Ah, to buy groceries.
… Eh? What was that noise just now?
Chibi Shinji: Sha, Shakuraa.
Sakura: Br, Brother!? What's with that appearance? I can't believe it...
Chibi Shinji: Sakuraa~ Ueeeh ueeeh. It was them, they made me like this!
Sakura: (… Who could do something like this? Maybe it was a magician? But...)
Oh well, it's Brother so it's okay, I guess?
Chibi Shinji: Sakura, I can hear you, I definitely can.
Sakura: Eh? What am I saying!
Chibi Shinji: My body was split in 8 little parts and scattered all over Fuyuki City...
If I gather them all, for sure I can return like before! Shakuraa, help me! Help me gather my other pieces!
Sakura: Eh, I don't want to.
Chibi Shinji: But, but!
Sakura/Shinji: Chan chan!
Chibi Shinji: Hey, it's not time to do chan chan! Like this I'm doomed!
Rider: You aren't very flexible. Is it not okay to be like this, Shinji. It's cute.
Chibi Shinji: Rider, you shut your trap! And how long have you been there!?
Ah, that's it... Shakura! If I return like before, I can talk to Emiya on your behalf.
Sakura: Eh... Ah...
Chibi Shinji: You can do it yourself but... He believes everything I say.
Surely I can create something good between you two! Therefore... Sakura, please, help me.
Sakura: If...if it's a request from Brother it can't be helped. After all we are siblings, I can't overlook this!
Chibi Shinji: Shakura! That's my little sister I know!
Sakura: Well you are indeed a cynic, miserable disgusting wakame, shameful brother who acts like a cool guy but this appearance it's too much even for you.
Chibi Shinji: Wait, Shakura...? ...Wasn't that a bit too much?
Sakura: Rider, let's go! Even if it's a shame, let's bring Brother like he was before!
Rider: (Sigh... Sakura you are too generous.)
True Assassin: Grandaughter-dono, Rider-dono How about a cup of tea...? Eh? … Did they go out? I have even bought some steamed buns.
Chapter 1: Sakura does her best
Sakura: Let's start by going to senpai's house. Since if I don't prepare something to eat for him he'll be troubled. I even learned a new recipe.
Chibi Shinji: You come here even at this time. You can't be serious.
Sakura: Senpaai. Good morni...
Eeeh!? Senpai, what's on your shoulders?
Shirou: Oh Sakura, good morning. This? I give up, hahaha...
Chibi Shinji B: *Attached closely*
Sakura: Wha...! Hey Brother! Come off senpai's shoulders!
Chibi Shinji A: Don't say it to me! It's not me who is on his shoulders. It's another me! Say it to him!
Chibi Shinji B: *Attached closely* Coochy-coo, coochy-coo *tickling sound*
Shirou: Waah, what's now with you, stop it, it tickles, ahahaha. But if you insist Shinji... hahaha.
Sakura: Ha, hahaha, Brother... That's more than a childish prank... You too senpai... Don't spoil him so much!
Chibi Shinji A: Awahwah, Shakura? You've got a scary face, Shakuraa.
Sakura: Senpai you idiot!
Shirou: ---Eh?
*Cue Fight*
Sakura: Aaah! Senpai, are you all right? I'm sorry, I unconsciously...
Shirou: Uh, uuh. *faints*
Chibi Shinji A: Yahoo! As expected of Shakura! Welcome back Shinji! Nice to see you Shinji!
Chibi Shinji B: Thanks Shinji! I'm back Shinji!
Rider: Uuh, so irritating...
Chapter 2: Roar! Oh Excalibur!
Saber: What was that shound Shirou? You are already noisy this early. *ChompChomp*
Sakura: Sa, Saber-san!!
Saber: Oh so it was Sakura? Mmh? That doll is...
So Sakura too received that as girl... Eh? Shirou!? What's with that posture?
Chibi Shinji A: Of crap... Are we done for?
Rider: Saber, I see yo are a glutton as always. It's like you are affected by a curse that makes you always eat.
Saber: *Chomp chomp. Gulp* What a fine greeting, Rider. Unh! It can't be, Rider, you did that to Shirou!?
Rider: If you couldn't notice when your master was in a pinch, that must be delicious. By the way, I didn't.
Saber: Then it was... Sakura? Uhn, maybe it as the one of this recent rumor, The idiot who sells Tiger goods...
Sakura: Tiger... Goods...?
Saber: But even if it was Sakura, if my master is trashed like this I can't let it pass.
It's, it's not like you think, Saber-san, let me explain. This is a gre~at misunderstanding...
Saber: It's too late to use words! I'm your next opponent. Come! Prepare yourself! Or are those big breasts only for decoration?
Sakura:... So you are the kind of person who doesn't let people explain, Saber-san. It can't be helped... Let's fight!
Rider: I will assist you as always.
Chibi Shinji A: Go! Go! ShakuRider!
*Cue Fight*
Chibi Shinji A: Welcome back Shinji! Welcome Shinji!
Chibi Shinji B: Welcome back Shinji! Welcome Shinji!
Chibi Shinji C: Thanks Shinji! I'm back Shinji!
Sakura: I'm sorry Saber-san... Senpai... I'll apologize properly later! Sakura, overflown with grief, now goes. Ah, don't worry I'll be preparing breakfast~.
Rider: These siblings sure do things at their own pace.
Chapter 3: Secret Technique! Return of the Swallow!
Sakura: With that we collected three pieces of Brother.
Rider: Isn't that more than enough? It's Shinji we are talking about.
Chibi Shinji A: Hey! What are you saying, Rider! Do you hate me so much?
Rider: DO YOU EVEN EXPECT TO BE LIKED?
Sakura: You two stop it, this is no time to be playing around. I wonder if Caster-san is at home...
Assassin: She's not. Unfortunately, that witch is absent.
Sakura: Ah, hello Sasaki-san! I see... So Caster-san is away.
Well then, we will come by later.
Chibi Shinji A: Hey wait Shakura! Look at that!
Rider: Aaah, so he noticed it.
Chibi Shinji D: *Squirming attached closely*
Sakura: Sa, Sasaki-san that is...!!
Assassin: Mmh? This? Well, he stuck to me on it's own accord. You don't say that this is what you came here for?
Chibi Shinji A: Nice guess mug-face! Now give it back to us!
Assassin: ...Interesting, that is indeed a doll with bad manners.
If you want this, you have to take it by fighting me.
Sakura: Aaaah, you made him angry, Brother you are an...
Rider: Idiot. All right.
Assasin: I won't go easy on you even if you are women and children!
*Cue Fight*
Sakura: Are, are you all right...?
Assassin: Ah, by all means do not worry. It was a while since a woman had beaten me. It was a nice way to kill time, ha haha.
Here, take it.
Sakura: Thank you so much!
Assassin: There I no need to thank me, after all you won that. Next time you feel lonely you should here to play, girl... No, Sakura-dono. *Wink*
Sakura: *Blushes* Eh, well, but... No, I can't! For me it's Senpai who...! I'm soooory!
Chapter 4: A red Challenger!
Chibi Shinji A: *sniff sniff sniff* Here, he's here, one part of me is here.
Rider: You certainly acquired a strange ability, Shinji. Do you stink---smell sweet like a wakame?
Chibi Shinji A: Ah! He's there! That girl has him!
Sakura: Eh, that is, big sis... No, Tohsaka-Senpai!!
Rin: Oh Sakura, how unexpected meeting you in a place like this. And you brought with you such a “Charmer”.
So I wonder---Are you seeking the Holy Grail?
Sakura: I'm not, I'm just collecting dolls like this one. To be honest, what Tohsaka-senpai is holding is... Brother.
Rin: Eeh!!! This is Shinji!!!??? Ugh gross!!!
Chibi Shinji A: (Me of over there, do it.)
Chibi Shinji E: (Understood, roger, me.)
*Attached closely* *Squirming*
Rin: Eh? Kyaaaaaa!!!
Wha... What was that!! Isn't this only a doll!!? It... Moves!
Archer: I had a bad feeling when we found it... Who would have thought it was Shinji in reality. Rin, throw it away.
Sakura: Tohsaka-senpai, if you don't want that anymore, we will-----TAKE GOOD CARE OF IT.
Chibi Shinji A: Hi, hiiiiiiiiiiii.
Rin: Hurry take it!!
Sakura: Ah, Thank you very much. By the way Tohsaka-senpai, what was that grail you were talking about?
Rin: Ah! The Holy Grail! I see... Sakura, I won't lose to you!! Let's go, Archer!
Archer: Oh well...
Sakura: Eh? Eh? Err... Eeeeeh???
*Cue Fight*
Chibi Shinji A: Welcome back Shinji! Welcome ShiBGHUUUGH!
Rider: That's enough, I'm tired of it.
Chibi Shinji A: Mnh! Mnh! Mnh!
Sakura: I'm sorry, Tohsaka-senpai... But you are also at fault for not listening. *Sniffle*, Let's go Rider.
Rin: She-got-us...............*Faints*
Archer: Good grief... All this for a fake Holy Grail. Well, in a way, it was for the best it ended this way...
Chapter 5: Howl, Berserker!
Sakura: This is... Ilya-san's castle. Whenever I come here it's always so shiny and beautiful. So, Brother, where are your next parts?
Chibi Shinji A: Ah! Over there! That giant has them!
Berserker: Goaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
Chibi Shinji F: It hurts, it hurts, this guy has a hard face!
Chibi Shinji G: It hurts, it hurts, this guy has a hard face!
Sakura: Wo...w... Berserker-san and Brother are rubbing their cheeks together...
Rider: I dare say this is quite an unusual sight to behold... Or better, to not behold... And there are two parts of Shinji.
Sakura: But Rider... Aren't they cute? However, I wonder why there are two of them.
Ilya: Berserker had one from the start. And then I gave him the other one, Sakura.
Sakura: Ah, Ilya-san!
Ilya: Welcome, un-invited guests. I wonder what made you, ladies who don't know any manner, enter without permission inside my castle.
Sakura: I beg your pardon. As a matter of fact, we have a favor to ask...
Illya: I can't, Sakura. You want me to return Shinji, right? I can't fulfill your request.
Berserker is so happy, who could be so cold-hearted as to steal him right from his hands...?
Sakura: Ilya-san, so kind... You are right, I understand those feelings very well. Yes, I will give up on Brothe-----
Ilya: But, if you need him at any cost, Snatch him away by force!!
Sakura: Eh? Ilya-san!?
Ilya: Hear me, Berserker! Thieves have come to steal your treasure!!
Berserker: Goaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
Rider: There is no other way if it's like this, Sakura!
Sakura: Why is became like this...?
*Cue Fight*
Ilya: Ouch! Ouch! These dolls? Caster gave them to us. It seems she distributed them all around.
Sakura: Eh! Caster!? Then she was who made Brother like this... But... Why...?
Illya: Who knows. That witch usually acts on her whims. By the way, Sakura, are you seeking the Holy Grail? You really changed.
Sakura: I got interested in it. Brother... It's tiem for you to tell me all about this “Holy Grail”-----
Chibi Shinji A: Yeah! The enemy is at Ryuudo Temple!! Let's go! Oooh!
Sakura: Ah! Wait Brother!
Illya: There there, Berserker. Next time I'll make a toy just for you. So don't cry.
Berserker: Gaoooooooooooooooooo!!!
Chapter 6: Sublime! A woman's battle!
Caster: Oh, if it isn't Sakura-san. If you wanted to go shopping together, I can't today. After this with my dear...
Sakura: No, Caster-san, today I have a different reason to be here. Do you recognize this?
Cibi Shinji A: Y- yo!
Caster: …!
-------Ah! Yes I do. That is surely something I did. I didn't know it was your brother, sorry Sakura-san.
But he is at fault too. Because he appeared and attacked all of a sudden. Was it because he desired the Holy Grail? Ah, or maybe because he was captivated by my beauty?
Sakura: This Holy Grail... Again... Brother, now say it clearly! You seriously were captivate by Caster-san's beauty!?
Chibi-Shinji A: No, definitely not. She's way off my strike zone.
Caster: … Way off you say? Since he was Sakura-san's brother, I considered returning him back to normal... But I can't let this pass...
Sakura: Eh! So you can turn him back to normal! As expected of Caster-san...!
Caster: Ufufu, well since it was me who scattered him, it's only natural that I can, Ufufufu. But they are not enough, if I remember correctly, there were eight of them, so you need one more...
Kuzuki: You were talking about this, Caster?
Caster: Souichirou-sama!
Kuzuki: If someone hears about it, it will be problematic for my students. Caster, return him back to normal. In addition, it could settle once and for all that Holy Grail business.
Sakura: Thank you, Kuzuki-sensai. My brother is grateful too. By the way, what is this Holy Grail?
Kuzuki: Hmm, it's something that recently became popular in Fuyuki. I hear that if you can obtain it, it will grant any wish you have. My dear seeks it too.
And Matou too, eer, your brother that is. He came to this temple to find it, but he was defeated. And he, as a result, became like that.
Caster: Just at that time, I was testing this new magic. So I decided to test it on your brother. And then so many dolls came out! I rejoiced so much for such a perfect split.
But... I got tired of them. That's why as I was walking around, I tossed them here and there. And then you went and collected them all. Sakura-san, you really cherish your brother, so adorable.
Sakura: It can grant any wish... If Brother desired it, it must be true. Is that why you didn't explain it clearly, brother?
Chibi Shinji A: I didn't lie. I just haven't said everything.
Caster: Okay then, since Souichirou-sama said it's okay, I'll return your brother back to normal. Go! What-was-its-name-magic~
Shinji: Oh! Oooh!!!! It came back! My former manly beauty!! I'm dangerous... Too dangerous...
Sakura: Brother!
Caster: But Sakura-san, for the Holy Grail it's different. Women are sorrowful living beings. If it's for their loved one, they will do anything.
Sakura: Caster-san, I know what you mean very well. I'm grateful that you restored my brother but now I desire the Holy Grail too. If I could obtain it, with senpai... Ufufufufu.
Rider: As I expected you to, Sakura. If you desire something take it without holding back.
Sakura: Here I go!!
*Cue Fight*
Sakura: Thank you... Caster-san. I'll live and love for you too.
Shinji: Ku----------fufufu. Ahahahahaha!!! Gyahahahaha!!!
Sakura: ...Brother, what's wrong?
Shinji: Sakura, you did very well. You truly are a wonderful younger sister, good work. Kukuku.
Rider: Shinji... What are you scheming----!? What's this ominous presence!?
Gilgamesh: It's finally my turn, mongrel!!!
Sakura: Ah! You are...!!!
Chapter 7: Dear Brother
Shinji: Fufu, even the heavens are blessing me. Kukuku.
Sakura: Brother, what's the meaning of this? Why is that person here? What in the world are you scheming?
Shinji: You see, Sakura, you too now seek the Holy Grail, am I right? Then, aren't we enemies now? And enemies, normally, destroy each other. You did well to be the last one in my way.
Sakura: Brother! Then... Until now... You kept on deceiving me...? That's cruel, Brother!
Shinji: Don't say deceive, you'll ruin my reputation. Isn't it natural for a younger sister to serve her brother? And you did good in that field since thanks to you my body is back to normal.
Rider: So then who is that man?
Shinji: That guy is my insurance for when you'll get in my way. Finally, I'll obtain the Holy Grail... It's all going according to my plan! Ahahaha!
Gilgamesh: Hey mongrel, I don't see my Saber.
Shinji: … Shup up, will you? Now I'm at the good part.
Gilgamesh: Mongrel, you deceived me! Didn't you say that I got more popular with Saber? Or was that only bullshit!? Gah, and I came all the way here for that...
Shinji: Come! On! Don't say that! For the time being defeat these girls! And then, after this, surely, come on.
Gilgamesh: Ooh! I see! Then very well! You are a good mongrel... Err, I forgot you name, oh well, no matter.
Rider: …
Sakura: …
Shinji: Hey both of you! Don't look at me with such eyes! Don't look at me!! Damn it all!!!
*Cue Fight*
Sakura: So this is... The Holy Grail? Oh, what's this paper?
“Congratulations on obtaining the Holy Grail! Shout your wish and then open the lid~”
Rider: … Is this the real thing?
Shinji: Damn it... Damn it... I lost... That guy wasn't of help at all...
Rider: Be glad that you returned to normal, Shinji.
Shinji: Damn it all... My dream... My wish... To make... Everyone... Happy... Uuuhh.
Sakura: Wah! Brother, you... For such a noble wish...
*Sniffle*, I'm moved... Now I have a different impression of you, Brother.
I understand, Brother, I'll give the Holy Grail to you.
Rider: Sakura!
Sakura: Rider, it's okay... Brother... Please fulfill your wish. Come on...
Shinji: Eh...? For real? Is is all right? Yahoo! Luuuucky!!
Harem! Harem's hope! Sakura! Hurry up! Don't we have to summon a dragon or something like that!? Yahoo! Harem!
Sakura: … BRO-TH-ER?
Rider: Shinji, where do you see happiness for everyone in there?
Shinji: Haa? Are you an idot? My happiness is mankinds's happiness! Tsk, you don't even know something so easy as that? You really are only huge breasts and height, girls.
Sakura: Rider...
Rider: Yes, it's wakame hunting time.
Shinji: Eh, wait, what are you...!? Agyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
Epilogue
Sakura: Senpai, say Ah~
Shirou: It's all right, I can do it myself, Sakura.
Sakura: No way. Aren't you hurt, senpai? Okay then, say Ah~
Shirou: But, Sakura, this is... Oh well. By the way, is it all right to come in a such expensive restaurant?
Sakura: It's all right. I won this meal at the shopping street lottery.
Shirou: I, I see, that's impressive Sakura! You are truly lucky, Sakura, *ChompChomp*
...Mh? Hey Sakura... This cooking is really tasty. I wonder how they were able to make such a deep taste.
Sakura: As expected of senpai, you noticed. Just recently here a famous...