3 trips to Walmart later, and my laptop has alternately had its charging port, AC adapter, and keyboard fixed, at the cost of now having inexplicably shitty wi-fi. I'll take it.
Alice, I won't say I want to make out with dat Lancer in a totally manly way, so you'll have to come to your own conclusions.
And lantz, we are naturally heading towards your castle because it's big, magic, and reeks of A+ dungeoning material. Expect the trio to get there sometime within the next 19 months.