Rin Tohsaka
However, no matter how much Rin wanted it not to, time continued its inexorable march onwards. She felt Sakura stir, and turn her face to look at her.
Rin bit her lip, and tears welled up in her eyes. I'm so, so stupid! Sakura's brilliant purple hair was pure on her right side, but as she turned her head, it became more and more white. Twisted remnants of the corruption of the world's evils marred her otherwise pure skin, with her left eye distinctly glowing red.
Sakura broke eye contact, looking away from her. Her little sister began to tremble. What was she thinking? Rin wanted to just curl up and die. Even after now, she couldn't act properly!
She felt Sakura try to pull herself away, but Rin was unwilling. She lurched forwards and grabbed her sister, pulling her close, holding her tightly against her.
If she attacks me, so be it.
Rin Tohsaka buried her face into Sakura's twisted and scarred cheek. She pressed her own cheek against hers, and ran her fingers through Sakura's hair, just like she'd done when she was a little girl. Before her dad had ruined her family and thrown her sister away to that-thing. That monster.
Rin didn't speak, not because she didn't want to, but because she felt any words she could say were insufficient. She'd had a whole speach planned; she was going to profess her deepest and most sincere apology, thrown herself at Sakura's feet, and begged for forgiveness. She'd practiced it for months, for years, perfecting her apology until she knew it so well she didn't think she'd ever forget even the smallest movement of it. She'd planned on apologizing, every time, but then Sakura would do something, say something biting, and the words would just sieze up inside Rin's throat. She'd choke down her words, be unable to swallow her own anger nor sooth her own wounded pride, remembering the sheer unrelenting agony that Sakura had put her through, the timeless eternity of pain that lasted for only a few moments, but also for an infinity. She'd lived through everything Sakura had.
Everything.
"Nee-san?" Rin heard Sakura ask her in a scared and confused voice. She sounds so vulnerable... Rin pulled her closer, clutching her sister's back as she began to choke out sobs, tears streaming down her face and staining Sakura's shirt. "What are you..." She heard Sakura pause. Rin's heart clenched up. "Sakura, I'm so-"
"Nee-san, have you forgiven me?"
Rin's world seemed to stop at that moment, and she felt as if her soul had shattered.
Sakura MatouSakura Matou was confused. She clutched her sister back, shaking with anxiety and fear. Fear of what her sister was planning. Fear of having a nervous episode. Fear of everything, and so much more.
Sakura's chest had seized up when she realized what Rin was doing. That she was apologizing. Sakura blinked with utter disbelief at her sister. Hadn't she harmed Rin far more? She'd tortured her, reveled in her sister's painful shrieks and helplessness. She'd watched the worms invade Rin and giggled. And in the end, Sakura had been the one whom had destroyed everyone they'd known, everywhere they'd been, and reduced it to smoldering tainted rubble as a tidal wave of fetid mud attempted to consume the world. How come it was Rin apologizing to her?
Sakura glanced away and flinched as Rin touched her black scars on her neck, blinking back tears. How could this be?
"I-you-you should hate me, Nee-san! You should be trying to destroy me, end my life! What do you mean you're sorry!?!" She pulled Rin closer, grabbing her hand and putting it on her forehead. "Weren't you trying to smash this in the cavern!"
The purple haired woman slumped down in a bout of depression. She heard Rin make a bunch of confused noises, opening and closing her mouth as she spouted gibberish.
"How can you not hate me!" Sakura demanded angrily, her breath quickening. Her eyes clouded up with tears, blurring her vision.
And then she felt a smack knock her face to the aide, and her sister glaring angrily at her. "Because you're my little sister, and we're in this together! What do you want me to do, fight with you forever, continue our pointless fight from the cavern ad infinitum! Why do you get to decide what I want to do, whom I'm allowed to forgive!"
Sakura was pushed down to the floor as Rin suddenly stood up, looking down at her. It was now her turn to look up and mumble incoherently. She had no good responce to that. She turned to look away, biting her lip so hard it began to bleed, but then Rin suddenly crouched down and grabbed her head, pulling her close to her chest.
Rin held her there for several minutes, neither of them talking to the other. She listened to the slow beat of Rin's heart, felt the warmth of her bosom.
"We need to let her live, Sakura." Rin finally spoke up.
"Eh?"
"You know whom I'm talking about. Tsumiko."
"Ahhh..."
"She's miserable. When we squabble she breaks down into painful seizures. We toy with her, use her as a proxy to reenact our dumb little conflicts. It's-It's not right, Sakura."
Sakura remained silent.
She had complicated feelings about Tsumiko. She loved her. Loathed her. Adored her. Wished she'd never existed. Regretted giving birth to her. That girl, their host, she was simultaniously the inheiritor of Shirou's wishes, the one whom could use Shirou's special talents, and also the living, breathing, abonimable eternal reminder of her foolish and tragic mistake.
She looked away.
"Why don't we... I have a few ingredients. Why don't we talk over dinner, Nee-san?"
She looked at Rin with bleary, unwilling eyes. She just couldn't promise that off the top of a hat. She couldn't just agree to make up and back off. It was too much, far too much. Too difficult to just agree to.
She heard her sister sigh, saw a hand move towards her, palm outstretched. She saw her sister smile in an equally exhausted and bitter way. "That...sounds nice. I'm leading, though." Rin finished authoritatively with a wry smile.
Sakura let out a deep breath, and grasped the hand, pulling herself up.